A bit of Accountancy Humour (and you thought we were boring!)
๐๐๐ธ ๐ฉ๐ผ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐๐ซ ๐ด๐๐๐ฐ๐ช๐ฃ๐ก๐ฎ๐ฃ๐ก ๐ ๐๐๐ง๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ข๐ ๐๐ณ๐๐๐๐๐ค๐ฐ๐ง ๐ถ๐ฃ 7 ๐ฒ๐๐ฌ๐ฎ ๐ ๐ก๐ฆ๐ฅ๐ฌ
Accountants are generally calm people full of good Chi. ๐งโ๏ธ
We like numbers ๐ข
balancing things โ
reconciliations that....well... reconcile. ๐ซ
๐ฉ๐๐ป!
Every now and then, a client does something that makes even the most experienced Chi master accountant, tilt their head slightly and stare silently at the screen for a few seconds ๐คbefore getting busy, restoring balance and reconciliation.
A slight hesitation of perfect...exciting... Accountancy office... Chi.
So, if your goal is to give your accountant a minor nervous breakdown ๐ญ, or perhaps question their career choices ๐ง; here are seven highly effective ways to do it!
๐. ๐๐๐ง๐ ๐๐ฏ๐๐ซ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ ๐จ๐ง ๐๐ ๐๐๐ง๐ฎ๐๐ซ๐ฒ
Nothing says “Iโค๏ธvalue๐งกour๐working๐relationship” quite like sending an email with twelve months’ worth of records the day before the Self Assessment deadline with an attachment containing 63 separate photographs of receipts, several bank statements and one mysterious spreadsheet called: FINAL ACCOUNTS NEW VERSION 3.xlsx
Bonus points if the email says: “PS. Shouldn’t take long; there’s hardly anything there.” ๐
In reality, the earlier you send your records, the more time your accountant has to check everything properly, identify tax-saving opportunities and deal with any unexpected issues๐
๐. ๐๐๐๐ฉ ๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐๐๐๐ข๐ฉ๐ญ๐ฌ ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐๐ฐ๐ก๐๐ซ๐ ๐๐๐๐… ๐๐ก๐๐ง ๐
๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐๐ญ ๐๐ก๐๐ซ๐... ๐ค
A shoebox is traditional. A carrier bag.... acceptable. The glove compartment of your car adds an element of adventure. ๐ but for a more modern approach, take photographs of receipts and scatter them between WhatsApp, your camera roll, emails and screenshots. Then, when your accountant asks for them, simply reply:
“๐ฅฃ ๐ฆง๐ ข๐จจ๐ฅฃ๊๐ฅฃ๐ขง๐ ข๊๊ฒ ๐จ๐ ข๊๐ขง ๐ขง๐ฆ๐ฅ๐จ๐ ข ๐ขง๐ฅ ๊ฒ๐ฅ๊ถ...” ๐คฅ
Thankfully, accounting software such as Xero can make keeping records much easier. Receipts can be uploaded as you go instead of embarking on an archaeological excavation project at the end of the year. ๐ฆ Try to remember to upload your receipts as you receive them; it will soon become second nature and a great habit to have!
๐. ๐๐๐ฒ: “๐๐ฒ ๐
๐ซ๐ข๐๐ง๐ ๐๐๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ ๐๐๐ง ๐๐ฅ๐๐ข๐ฆ ๐๐ญ” ๐ฌ
Every accountant has heard some variation of this sentence.
“My mate says I can put my holiday through the company.” ๐ถ๏ธ
“My brother’s accountant lets him claim his clothes.” ๐๐
“My friend bought a car through his business, so I assume I can too?” ๐
Sadly, tax legislation does not include the phrase:
“Because Dave down the pub said so.” ๐ซถ
A shame, because that would make things so much easier...
What you can and cannot claim often depends on the nature of your business, of the expense and how it is used. Asking before purchasing that lovely new sports car is usually much easier than trying to part with it afterwards. ๐ญ
๐. ๐๐ฌ๐ ๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐๐๐ง๐ค ๐๐๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐ญ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐๐๐ฌ๐จ๐ฅ๐ฎ๐ญ๐๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐๐ฏ๐๐ซ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐
Tesco, Netflix, School shoes, A weekend away, The dog groomer, Three rounds at the pub and one payment for £847.26 to someone called “Steve”, with absolutely no explanation. ๐
Once the fun is over, your accountant will then have the exciting task of working out which transactions relate to the business and which ones relate to your Saturday afternoon. ๐ซฉ
Keeping business and personal spending separate is not always possible, but where it is it saves time, reduces mistakes, HMRC queries on how Rovers grooming regime adds value to the business ๐ and best of all, makes your accounts much easier to understand and extract useful information from. ๐ฅณ
๐. ๐๐๐ค๐ ๐๐จ๐ง๐๐ฒ ๐
๐ซ๐จ๐ฆ ๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐ข๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐๐ ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐ฉ๐๐ง๐ฒ ๐๐ก๐๐ง๐๐ฏ๐๐ซ ๐๐จ๐ฎ ๐
๐๐ง๐๐ฒ
Your company bank balance is looking healthy.........Excellent! ๐
Unfortunately, that does not automatically mean all of that money belongs to you personally. ๐คช
Limited company money can usually come out in specific ways, such as salary, dividends, repayment of money owed to you, expenses or other properly recorded transactions.
Randomly transferring £5,000 to yourself with the reference “money” can create some interesting conversations about your director’s loan account.
Before making large withdrawals, speak to your accountant. It can save a considerable amount of tax — and several emails. ๐
๐. ๐
๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐ฅ ๐๐๐ญ๐๐ซ ๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐๐ฑ ๐๐๐ญ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ง ๐๐๐ฌ ๐๐๐๐ง ๐
๐ข๐ฅ๐๐; ๐๐จ ๐ "๐๐จ๐ฅ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐๐จ" (๐ฒ๐๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ ๐๐ซ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐จ๐ฅ๐!)
“Oh, by the way…” ๐
These four words can strike fear into the heart of any accountant. ๐ฑ
“Oh, by the way, I also rent out a property.” ๐ฑ
“Oh, by the way, I sold some shares.” ๐ฑ
“Oh, by the way, I have another company.” ๐ฑ
“Oh, by the way, I received some income from overseas.” ๐ฑ
Please be mindful to mention the “by the way” things before your tax return is submitted wherever possible. ๐
Income, investments, property, capital gains and overseas interests can all have tax implications, even if they do not seem particularly important at the time. ๐ฌ
๐. ๐๐ ๐ง๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ญ๐ญ๐๐ซ๐ฌ ๐๐๐๐๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ ๐๐ก๐๐ฒ ๐๐จ๐จ๐ค ๐๐๐๐ซ๐ฒ ๐
We understand; HMRC envelopes rarely contain birthday cards. ๐ฅณ But putting the letter in a drawer does not normally make the problem disappear. ๐ซฅ
Sometimes the letter is simply requesting information. Sometimes HMRC thinks something is missing. Sometimes there is advice of a deadline to respond to.
Whatever it is, your accountant would much rather see the letter straight away than three months later with:
“I completely forgot about this — not important...is it?” ๐
More often than not, yes. It is. ๐คจ
๊ก๊พ๊ ๊ท๊๐ฅ๊ฏ๊๊น๊ท ๊๊ฏ๊ก ๐
Good accounting does not need to be stressful.
Keeping records up to date, separating personal and business transactions, using accounting software properly and speaking to your accountant before making major financial decisions can make a huge difference.
At Partridge Accountancy Services, we would much rather help you plan ahead than help you untangle everything afterwards.
Although, to be fair, we are quite good at untangling things too; so do not let it put you off getting in touch!
So if you recognised yourself in three or more of the points above, perhaps it is time to have a chat and see how we can help you to get back on track (Preferably before 30 January).
๏ผฎ๏ฝ
๏ฝ
๏ฝ ๏ผจ๏ฝ
๏ฝ๏ฝ ๏ผท๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ ๏ผน๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ โฒ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ผ
Whether you are a sole trader, limited company, landlord or growing small business, Partridge Accountancy Services can help with bookkeeping, tax returns, VAT, payroll, Xero, Making Tax Digital and year-round accounting support.
Get in touch with us to find out how we can help make your accounts a little less stressful for you.
Oh..... and your accountant ๐
Partridge Accountancy Services
Helping businesses stay informed, compliant and prepared.
Simple.














